Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
