trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
