lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
