This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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