Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i already hear my dad disowning me
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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