New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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