Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
