Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
