I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
