I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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