that's an acceptable place to lick
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
