Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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