actually, I'm a sock model
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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