he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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