Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
