I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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