so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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