i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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