IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
