the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
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