is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
