Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
