PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
