easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
