i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
