Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
