grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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