i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize