No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
