i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
