Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
