note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
