Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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