If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
