Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Randomize
