spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
