I just pynch a tree in the face
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
