she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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