now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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