This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
