is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
