You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
