Michael Bay diarrhea
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
