We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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