is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
