I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
