Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
