some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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