I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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