I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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