you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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