And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
