Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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