just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize