dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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