Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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