Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
