Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
